One of my favorite lines in a movie was uttered by Jack Nicholson when his character was challenged by his exasperated girlfriend to give her just one good reason why she should stay with him. He answered, “You make me want to be a better man.” She (and the audience) melted at this response and the story had a happy ending.
Of course in real life becoming a better person requires more than simply expressing this desire, it also demands some dratic changes made at both the emotional and spiritual levels.
Emotionally, becoming a truly better person begins by cultivating what the Bible calls “lovingkindness.” Lovingkindness is a virtue usually attributed to God’s character. Essentially, it is His ability to remain faithful and steady in His love and kindness towards others regardless of their performance or attitude. Lovingkindness, therefore, lowers a person’s stress and critical impulse thus making them better.
The goal in lovingkindness is to maintain a steady, faithful, and loving attitude towards others – not just keep them on task, suspect their motives, or seek justice or fairness in our relationships with them. When our sole emotional responsibility is to love others faithfully we not only improve ourselves, we also help others become better.
On a spiritual level nothing helps us to become better persons more than a concerted effort to please God rather than self. This type of spiritual focus blesses us in so many ways. For example:
- Pleasing God first leads to serenity because there is less striving to please others to gain praise and approval. God’s approval is what we receive and it is so much more satisying than human approval that tends to be shallow and fickle.
- Pleasing God first also protects us from the negative consequences of sinful behavior which usually follow a determined effort at pleasing ourselves rather than God.
The love of a good woman moved Jack Nicholson’s character to change. Hopefully the love of our Savior on the cross will also move us to the same and give our lives a happier ending.